For young people in Australian Defence families, frequent relocations, operational deployments and long periods of separation can put a strain on healthy family relationships according to Mates4Mates. While much attention is often given to the adjustment needs of younger children, older teens and young adults living at home can face unique challenges. This can be overlooked – especially when it comes to feelings of loneliness or isolation.
At these ages, strong peer relationships, independence and identity are central to development. But frequent moves can mean starting over again and again. This means leaving behind friends, school networks, and familiar social groups. This disruption can result in a persistent sense of isolation, especially if the child feels misunderstood or disconnected from their new environment.
The Australian Psychologist Society says that while younger children may show visible signs of distress, teens and younger people may internalise their feelings. The disruption and uprooting of a move can lead to deeper struggles with loneliness and isolation.
Marg Rogers, a research fellow with the Manna Institute, which works to improve mental health and wellbeing in rural, regional and remote Australia, says that many older teens and young adults in Defence families describe feeling like “outsiders’ in these new communities. The tight-knit local networks could be especially difficult to break into. “There’s often hesitation from locals to build friendships when they know you might be gone in 18 months,” she explains. This social resistance can reinforce feelings of exclusion and make it harder to find belonging. But all hope is not lost. You can still find ways to help. Encourage young people to stay in touch with old friends online, get involved in sports or community groups, or even take leadership roles in youth programs. These can help rebuild a sense of connection and purpose. Parents play a key role by validating their young person’s emotions and offering practical support for establishing new routines and social links.
Ultimately, with the right support network, and understanding, young people in Defence families can emerge stronger and more resilient because of their unique life experience.
Mates4Mates share some tips on building healthier relationships
- Be aware of your feelings. Notice if you’re pulling away or becoming emotionally distant. You can’t reconnect until you recognise what’s happening.
- Make time for people important to you. Even if you’re busy or far away, stay in touch with small gestures.
- Talk openly and listen well. Honest conversations build trust. Practice listening to really understand each other.
- Do meaningful things together.
- Know your stress triggers. Understanding the cause of tension can avoid unnecessary conflict.
- Give each other space to relax and reflect.